Undercover Trucker: How I Saved America by Truckin' Towels for the Taliban


Read by Bill Schmalfeldt

(4.5 stars; 21 reviews)

For his second Podiobook, Bill Schmalfeldt goes from the sublime to the ridiculous. His follow-up to the non-fiction "No Doorway Wide Enough" is this fanciful, hilarious narrative, voiced by disgraced, former alcoholic truck driver Billy Big Rig (who can never reveal his real name because everyone wants to kill him) who -- if he is to be believed -- infiltrated a terror cell, went to Afghanistan, and single-handedly saved America from another terror attack in the days after 9/11. Along the way, he shares his philosophy about life, love, truckstop meals and waitresses, men's room protocol, how he killed the REAL Saddam Hussein, and his many, many marriages. This will probably be the most politically-incorrect book you will read or hear all year. Definitely not for the kiddies, mostly for language, violence, and brief nudity. If you download this book and are offended, it's YOUR fault, not the author's! You've been warned. But if you like a bawdy, action-packed story, told by a character who is one part Stephen Colbert, one part Archie Bunker, one part Forrest Gump, one part John Wayne and 100 percent AMERICAN MAN, then you'll LOVE "Undercover Trucker: How I Saved America by Truckin' Towels for the Taliban." In a manly way, I mean. Billy doesn't swing that way. That sh*t just ain't right!

WARNING TO THE SATIRE IMPAIRED: You will need ALL your satire glands in order to enjoy this.


This book comes from Scribl.com. Visit Scribl to support the author or learn how to self-publish your own audiobook.

License

Chapters

UndercoverTrucker 01 Read by Bill Schmalfeldt
UndercoverTrucker 02 Read by Bill Schmalfeldt
UndercoverTrucker 03 Read by Bill Schmalfeldt
UndercoverTrucker 04 Read by Bill Schmalfeldt
UndercoverTrucker 05 Read by Bill Schmalfeldt
UndercoverTrucker 06 Read by Bill Schmalfeldt
UndercoverTrucker 07 Read by Bill Schmalfeldt
UndercoverTrucker 08 Read by Bill Schmalfeldt
UndercoverTrucker 09 Read by Bill Schmalfeldt
UndercoverTrucker 10 Read by Bill Schmalfeldt
UndercoverTrucker 11 Read by Bill Schmalfeldt
UndercoverTrucker 12 Read by Bill Schmalfeldt

Reviews

so much fun


(5 stars)

Thank you Mr. Schmalfeldt for one of the funniest things I've heard in quite awhile. I thoroughly enjoyed Billy Big Rig's escapades and would love to hear more.


(4 stars)

More than I expected.. as a driver I’ve run the same roads and ate the same gravel Billy speaks on, but who’d have know just how he could show us the difference between candy ass spoiled babies and natural born hillbillies.. great perspective on the “Presidents” and their “personalities”..It helps kill time on the road. Thanks so much for the laughs.. great job!


(0 stars)

But would you love me enough to shoot me, like Charlotte did?


(0 stars)

[...] In the “also good news” front, “Undercover Trucker: How I Saved America by Truckin’ Towels for the Taliban” has had a pretty good first day as an audio book on Podiobooks.com so far. Over 600 episode downloads today. So far. Now, take the next step. Donate (Podiobooks gets a ...


(0 stars)

A novel that covers a lot of ground. Similar to podibooks by Greg Crites but with less humor. The first half of the book was amusing but the second half turned into ignorant and offensive rather than comical ravings. The book No Doorway Too Wide by the same author was ...


(0 stars)

Chris has the right to his opinion, of course, and I'm glad he enjoyed "No Doorway" -- but the CHARACTER of Billy Big Rig IS ignorant and offensive ... a fact that is set out for the listener in the description of each download. To be surprised by Billy's ignorant ...


(0 stars)

Fun stuff.....the guy what wrote this must have been a truck driver in a previous incarnation...he knew a little too much about tryin to slide tandems and runnin team,,,,totally absurd for the most part--utterly ridiculous the rest of the time--but--as a truck driver what else ya gonna listen to today ...


(0 stars)

Oh, and I forgot to add.....I loved Billy Big Rig, and missed him. I used a description of Billy on an online dating website as my ideal mate, but got no takers. Go figure.